I used to write all the time. Lately, I've been remembering my pre-teen nightstand that was stacked with journals, novels, and poetry books. I would stay up late dreaming. I miss those days. Lately, I've been feeling like a real "grown-up" with this anxious brain that's always on its toes ready to respond to some future that's not here yet. I miss my relaxed brain. The one that didn't over-think relationships or text messages or songwriting or unfiltered moments. I miss the freedom that came with childhood innocence.
So, I'm writing this blog for a couple of reasons. #1 to just write for connection again - Hello, human reading this! #2 I love God, and I want to talk about Him! He/She whichever you prefer, but I go by He. There are a lot of blogs for the mystics with your daily astrological chart and a lot of blogs for the "my life screams Jesus" kind of people. But, I have yet to find a blog for the in-betweens. The people who know something exists, but they are tired of trying to understand or connect to what that is. I have become a pendulum that is stuck on Jesus's side.
This world is noisy-- some people say to pray and some say to pull a tarot card. Some say do nothing at all. I fall in the pray and praise Jesus' bucket 50/50 of the days which I am sure in time I will reveal just how I got here, but as a "one day at a time" kind of girl, the only story I am telling right now is why I am writing this.
This blog isn't just for a wobbly walk of faith or even just for connecting to you reading this (if you even connect to it). If you're here, you know I sing. You know I write. You know I teach. You might even know that I also take pictures. And now, you know that I pray. Whether I am connecting to music or connecting to people or writing something, I always seem to be looking for God in all of it. So, expressing this aspect of the blog seemed to be important to me. And, to be really honest, I recently decided that Instagram, in particular, mine, is diluted with two types of posts-- shallow or deep-dives. God is always piggybacking the deep-dives on Instagram.
So I felt it necessary that if people want to eat my heart off of an internet platter, this is where they can be fed.
My mind on God is just a part of everything I do whether I like it or not.
My most recent video - IJDTW (I've Just Destroyed The World) - that concept was born out of my spirituality. Every person I have ever loved and have written a song about-- there's always some deep sense of purpose to the relationship. I tend to feel impacted and moved by the world, often. The trash on the beach makes me incredibly sad. Human behavior and patterns are baffling especially those in power. Will we ever master this constant dance between love and fear in life? Probably not, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. I am sure you resonate with this too. I can't be the only one.
There was a moment of readiness in my spiritual journey where the dialogue seemed to finally become two ways. For the first time ever, it didn't feel like my prayers fell on deaf ears and idle hands. So, I journey with Jesus now, and it's been beautifully messy.
SoOoOoO, what will you find here? A little bit of everything. Music, Photos, Jesus, Human being things, and Me.
I've always been a real spiritual person, and I recently realized that I have a straight-up fear of religion. I think most people do and that most people even with that fear have a yearning to know God too.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."